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Divine Equine Paracosm

by William McAteer

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1.
Nothing Now 03:28
2.
Stomp it Out 02:50
I know God is a horse. I know I am a whore. Are you ever saved? And are you ever paid? I can feel your pain, it leaks from every orifice in your body. I can feel your pain. Stomp it out, stomp it- I may now forever dwell in the underpinnings of guiltful lust, naked and hysterical by a piano bench, alone... in my home. A misunderstood and heavily glamorized image of your full physiognomy sears through synapse after synapse as a hazy recollection of it is cast before my peripheral conscious view. And I can feel your pain, it leaks from every orifice in your body. And I am going insane... as I re-invoke everything. And I try to put you back in center, back in a safe place wherein I could maintain this image, it begins to fade into a blackness, a feeling of loss and a restrained sense of heartache. Heartache? It's gone now. You're gone now. The dream has passed and so we have passed as well. Stomp it out. Stomp it out. Stomp it out. Stomp it out. Well I become upset at my own bodily shortcomings, my inability to be there with you, and my inability to be here alone with myself. Fuck it. I cannot help but feel hopelessly fucking cheated, cheated out of you... and cheated out of me. The way I feel prevents me from speaking the way I feel. I don't expect this to change soon, I don't expect you to change soon.
3.
Suicidio 02:22
4.
5.
May, 2013 01:17
6.
OKAY 02:41
I miss your hair. The smell of your clothes. The look on your face when you would come home... It was like you were glad you could finally lay with me. And I would lay in your chest, well into the night, cry away my heart, tears soaked in my eyes, and you would pet my hair and tell me "It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay." But now you're like a phantom limb. Always felt, yet never to return again. Now it's never "okay, okay, it's okay." I remember the basement, I was tripping acid and you were reading some occult book on magic. Wanted to see if a spell really worked, went into the next room and knelt down. You lit some candles, you spread some salt around and whispered my name... I heard your thoughts and prayers. It's like you were right there. I heard your thoughts and prayers, and it was okay. I knew it was okay. I knew it was okay.
7.
And you are such a beautiful girl, largely unrecognized by a callous world. Oh, but what I saw inside of you... Spoke to me about "ultimate truths." But what I saw inside of you, it spoke to me about "divine truth." And that's how I know... That I will never be alone.
8.
Toronto 01:47
I walk in with you, in the sorrowed land. We clung to wet grip tape, forties in our hands. I was drifting along, having my somber song. But then... You laid right next to me. You laid light next to me. And I saw your ways... And you laid right next to me. It's a light to come, a million gem stones. A light to come, on God. Oh, God.
9.
Foal 04:52
10.
Old Souls 02:52
Bring me gifts of silver and Myrrh... Bring me love on a silver tray. Don't end up with the henbane bushes, 'cause they'll kill you any given day. Greek Daemons in the forest, trying to tempt me all to sway. A lady rises from the water, and this is what she had to say: The body's born young, and the soul is born old. And as we go through the motions, despite everything we're told, the last thing a human ever wants is for his soul to grow old. Don't grow. Can't lose hope
11.
B&E 01:57
12.
Kiddo 02:07
13.
14.
Girl 3 02:25
And you were your father's favorite girl then. I can still hear his boots clack on the floor now... Then in places I heed him before. You remember the smell of his breath, his clothes, those things that he made you place in your home. Photo albums soon to be burned out, yeah... See him rise by the floor of the sea, chained by the seaweed? I saw red lights come on and hone the blessed, the wicked God of greed.

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released August 31, 2015

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William McAteer Giza Governorate, Egypt

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